I look back at my early 20's and think about the many struggles I had in relationships. I didn't trust people in general. I had many acquaintances that I enjoyed being around, but few significant friendships. The only solid relationship I had was with Chad, my rock. I feel like he pushed me to trust him by proving time and time again that he would not hurt me. As I read about Bowlby's ethological theory of attachment and affect my childhood attachments could have on future relationships, I realize even more how thankful I am for my husband. He held a mirror up in front of me and forced me to see how I push people away. He pointed out to me my lack of trust, and don't get me wrong, that wasn't an easy task for him either. He suffered the grief that I dealt him when he pushed me. All in all, I sit here typing this as we just returned from having dinner at our friends' house where I felt open, trusting, and had a great time telling funny stories of the past. The old Ruby never would open herself up like that. I love the growth that I have experienced since being able to let go and forgive people that have hurt me.
Chad and I make a great team. We share most of the household duties. He and I can read when the other needs a little extra help around the house. Parenting seems to come natural for both of us, but when one of us is having a rough day we just tap out and the other takes up the slack. I couldn't ask for a better marriage. This summer will make 10 years, and we are still passionately in love. We have 2 beautiful children that we cherish. I will be 31 on my next birthday and I am so grateful that I have had the privilege of spending my young adult years married with children, rather than dealing with loneliness or relational transitions and struggles. I feel like my relationship with Jesus and my love for Chad has pushed me to cross many scary bridges and has given me victory over battles that come my way.
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